No Cellphones Allowed Until I Get One Myself

Long title, I know. But it speaks the truth, young buttsuckers. No cellphones allowed. Why? Because I don't have one yet and GOSH DAMMNIT IF I DON'T HAVE ONE, NEITHER CAN YOU!!!

But, um, ahem...

It's, uh, it's temporary.

My mom said she's going to buy me a cellphone like the one her co-worker has -- a Samsung Galaxy, apparently.

It's pretty cool, I guess. It would have been cooler if I were allowed to make a call and NOT have to pay ninety-fucking-pesos, or get the chance to text other networks. I mean, my parents have phones that are Globe, not Smart. What if I get raped? Or kidnapped? What if I get mauled by a bear, or maimed by a potato chip? Who the fuck's going to save me? What's gonna happen? DOES IT HAVE Wi-Fi?!

.....

.....

-five minutes later-

Okay, I'm done bawling now... I also took a wazz.

...don't judge me.

Anyways, onto my day: I went to church, got emotional, as per usual, and-

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS CALLING MY DAD'S NAME?! SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE PEOPLE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE! EXTREMELY LOUD ONES! SHUT UP BEFORE I GET CLIVE THE POTATO CHIP TO MAIM YOU!!

...Oh. They shut up..

Cool. :]

Wait, right. My day. Alright, well whilst listening to the pastor, Pastor Joby, I think I might've broke a few guys' hearts. No, seriously.

Here's one thing you should know about me: Unless you're a dude, the same age as me, and gorgeous, I won't give you any of my attention.

But apparently, some kids (11 or 12-year-olds) kept staring at me in this...creepy, obsessive, assasin-in-a-ninja-movie way. Of course, I didn't really look at them straight in the eye because...well, just because. When I left the hall, I saw that one had this desperate, lost-all-hope look in his eye. I'm not sure if I had anything to do with this, but I felt bad. A little freaked out, but still.

Why did I HAVE to be so irresistible?!

Kidding, kidding. I'm not Kanye West -- I can be humble.

No offense to Kanye fans, but honestly, he isn't very...nice. And not just because of the T. Swift thing, he freaks out backstage at awards shows whenever he doesn't win. I don't like that about him. He makes good music, though, so I guess he has a right to brag a little, but definitely walk around like he's God's gift to the human race. No offense.