Alone

My parents went to my hometown - not really hometown, more like homecity - to get "stuff." They never really told me anything specific, but since they're with my three-year-old brother, I'm guessing it's not drugs.

So, yeah, I'm all alone. Fine, not alone-alone, my grandparents and aunt are here, but activity-wise, I'm alone. I'm typing all of this in my grandpa's room (without his approval) because I just love his keyboard. It's all click-y, so when I type, I feel all business-like.

...Did that rhyme?

Eh. Whatever. Back to my day. I have to make a love poem for Filipino class. Since I have no love in my life (and I can't write a poem for a fake boyfriend), I decided to write about my Mom and Dad. It's pretty lame, but whatever. I'll go get my notebook right now!

[This isn't everything yet, BTW. You won't understand a word if you don't know how to speak in Tagalog.]

-Five minutes and a cup of coffee later-

Here it is:

Para Sa Aking Magulang

Itong tula ay para sa aking magulang,
Na minahal ako mula noong ako'y sinilang,
At binigay saakin lahat ng kailangan,
Kahit sila ay minsan kong nasasaktan.

Sana patawarin nila ako,
Sa lahat ng mga nagawang hindi maayos,
At sana magustuhan nila itong aking ginawa,
Dahil sinulat ko ito para sa pasasalamat sa kanila.

Yeah. There it is.

Oops, I have to go now! An Ugly Betty re-run is on! :)

Lately

So, lately, I've grown tired of my old desktop backround, cuz, really, it reminded me of all that outdoors-y stuff. Sure, they're extremely pretty, but those kind of stuff are meant to be seen from a distance. Like, on the other side of a TV screen. It also reminded me of last, last Saturday's exercise trip or whatever my parents call it.

But, seriously, you can't blame a girl born and raised in a city for not loving sweating and running, you know. Fine, fine, we were jogging at Baywalk, which is a part of Asia's biggest shopping mall, but there were just waaay too many people there. And I hate people.

I mean, if there weren't so much people, I would have been skipping and spreading love and throwing tulip petals, but, alas, people from every generation were there. Come on, can an insecure thirteen-year-old girl do that in front of a hundred-something crowd?

If you don't know the answer to that question, get out of my blog because retards are not welcome.

Back to my story. My parents promised me that were going to play Badminton afterwards.

Guess what broken promise ruined my day!

So, instead, we went to a mall. Almost a hundred miles away. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. More people.

But don't feel too bad for me, okay? There IS an upside to this! I got to buy new Tom's (loafers - floral, too) and red Ray Bans. I guess I deserved a prize, especially since the day before, I spent my afternoon making an anniversary banner for them and buying them 3 gifts, which was kind of my way of saying, "Sorry for not buying you any anniversary, Christmas, or birthdays gifts before!" 

Did I mention that it was their anniversary the day before our exercise trip? No? Well, it was.

So, anyways, I wanted to change my backround. I turned to Tumblr, the home of pictures that were considered beautiful by many girls my age. Even some boys. But only a few, because guys' taste is a little different from mine; I'm more Eiffel-Tower-at-Night and glitter in jars, while they're more beach-blonde hoes in leather bikinis.

Sorry to offend, but the guys I've met (a.k.a. some classmates) prefer women's bumps-and-humps over fairy lights.

Anyways, these are a few candidates:

Not Fucking Normal

Okay, so I turned thirteen a month ago, and since then, I notices some... uh, changes. And not just physically (Uh, hello, does my birthday makeover ring a bell? No? Oh, right, I forgot to write about it... Okay, long story short, I got a mani-pedi and a haircut), I noticed that I changed mentally.

Not sluttier or something like that, just - ugh - girlier. I actually started to like pink again, I just effing bought pink and white floral loafers, AND I made an account at GirlSense!

That's not normal for me!

My voice changed, I started to be more awkward around boys - if that's even possible - and I suddenly don't hate reality shows anymore.

The reason for my amazingly unusual acts of teenager-y-ness?

I'll give you a clue; it starts with a b, and ends with oys.

Boys.

Fucking stupid crushes made me into a frickin' DAFFODIL!

{Only iCarly fans will get that reference}

I'm all emotional now and pink and girlie and falling-hard-for-guys-y and... and... weird. Is that what being a teenager is all about? Finding out that you and this wretched stage of life is weird? If it is, then I'm done.

The Perfect and the Perfectly Fake

How are you sure that you've hit rock-bottom?

When you decide to choose over a guy and a guy who isn't even real. [the post below this will explain everything.]

The first contestant is the imaginary "Nathan", and the second is not Kyle (got over him when I got back from the semester break), but my first crush/possibly first love, Lance.

I have to choose if I want to keep up my fake beau charade, or try to get Lance - who may kinda had a crush me a little bit - to like me again. I can make up a completely believable story of Nathan moving to Barcelona permanently to live with his abuela ("Grandmother" in Spanish) and say that he thought we couldn't handle a long-distance relationship. Then I would cry, Lance would overhear, we'd get together, blah, blah, blah, happily ever after, ride a horse in to the sunset and all that chiz.

But there's a problem.

The whole point of "Nathan" is to get Daniel [once again, read the post blow] to stop liking me. And so far, he won't understand that I do not like him. At all. As a friend, possibly, but as a boyfriend? Only when there's bribing involved. And if they offer me any amount less that seven million, I'll slap them silly with sandpaper.

Hopefully, he'd finally understand that I don't like him, and I'd get to be with Lance and ride off and all that other stuff I said.

                                                                           

Fake, Fake, Fake

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book that centers around the main character? Well, obviously. But did this character have a fake boyfriend or girlfriend? Probably not.

Well, I have a little dilemma that may or may not involve fake relationships.

I didn't read a book about a girl that feigns being in a relationship, I didn't watch about a movie about it either; because I'm already in one hell of an adventure being The Girl With an Imaginary Boyfriend, or whatever my friends will call me once they find out that "Nathan" is only a mix of my creativity, my best friends' imaginations, and a few tiny lies.

Why did I create a fake beau?

There are 5 reasons:

1. A classmate, Daniel, has a crush on me, and to say the least, it's annoying. I want him to back off before he sees sweet and shy Gabby pull out her Daddy's baseball bat.

2. I'll get to see how it feels to be in a relationship. Sure, a fake one, but nevertheless a relationship.

3. I hoped that my crush will get the tiniest bit upset or jealous. And as it turns out, he was!

4. I haven't done anything as remotely sneaky as this in a while, and I needed a little fun to get me out of my "Boring and Bland" phase.

5. "Nathan" is the absolute perfect guy - in my opinion, at least. If I ever have to choose between two guys, I can compare them to Nathan so that picking would be easier.

Oh, gosh, I just hope none of my classmates or schoolmates are reading this...

Anyways, I learned that being in a relationship is... complicated. Even fake ones.

You have to endure the "You are too young for this kind of commitment" preaches, you can't "like-like" anyone else, and frankly, all your friends ever talk about is your new boyfriend and how shocked they were when you told them you were taken.

Now, add the drawbacks of being in a fake relationship. 3 + 74 = Fuck, I'm screwed.

Also, the guys who like me can't process that I already have a "boyfriend", so the teasing and "Gabby! Look at Daniel!" shouts from across the room are still ongoing. And the stalker-themed stares aren't much of a picnic either.

So, if anyone wants my advice, a living and breathing partner is much better than a photo-shopped and too-perfect-to-not-be-gay prince charming.

P.S. Don't tell anyone I know about what you read. Forget what I wrote. Sign out. Clear your history. Burn your computer.

Why I love that it's my birthday:

> Getting to listen to birthday-themed songs on YouTube (like Happy Birthday by The Click 5)

> The 40+ "Happy Birthday!" posts on my Facebook wall

> I get to do whatever I want for a FULL 24 hours

> The "Happy Birthday" hugs

> Getting to dislike "Not Your Birthday" by Allstar Weekend because it IS my birthday

> Getting to read birthday-themed iCarly and Sonny With A Chance stories

> I'm a year older, and thus, I'm one step closer to becoming a full-fledged adult with a motorcycle

> The presents

> My brother's adorable "HaPPI Borthdai" greetings (He's 3; I don't expect much)

Happy birthday...

TO ME!

Yup. I'm thirteen now. :)

Am I all grown-up and mature? Answer this first: Is ice hot? No.

BUT! Maybe I might TRY to act like I don't jump around behind closed doors from time to time, but don't expect me to be sipping champagne and going to socials just yet, though. I'm not fifty - or at least not done with puberty, so the elevator music and relatives cracking sex jokes will have to wait.

I'm fine with my young, relatively immature, self.

Oh, and I cut my hair. Well, Liza/Lisa (sorry, forgot how her name is spelled) from David's Salon did... Okay, fine, it's cute and stuff, but... in my opinion, I kinda look like a boy. A dude.

My "feminine", as Pauline put it, face didn't cut it. And the worst part? My crush likes girls with LONG HAIR. The hairdo I had six hours ago was nowhere near long, and now it's... boy-ish.

But, I think there's still a glimmer of hope... A lot of guys (some thrice my age) kept staring at me, and one even hit on me. It was creepy, but endearing at the same time. But mostly creepy. I just hope that my crush adjusts to my shorter hairdo, or else my parents will find me in my bed, tear-stained pillow in one hand, and a gallon of chocolate ice cream in the other, watching Cat On A Hot Tin Roof obsessively. It probably won't be pretty.

The Korean Penis Fish

So, I was watching some Seddie videos, when I noticed a video that probably shouldn't be there:

To any readers

Alright, I do know that no one will read my blog. I get that, but come on!

I keep posting and posting and posting stuff that no one will read.

That is a waste of time. Sooo, if you've come across my little blog and you actually like my posts, just EFFING SUBSCRIBE ALREADY! 

Note to self:

People get mad when you throw water in their face at the mall while screaming, "WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT, PUNK?!" (or "COME AT ME, BRO!" in the case of the scrawny guy sitting next to the guy I threw water at.) BUT! In my defense, he did wink at me and made this hand-gesture thingy that meant, "Call me". He's lucky I didn't kick his pen- HIS PENCIL! Yup. Pencil.

P.S. Also, NEVER let Mommy or Daddy read this post.

Writing Schedule

I think I bit off more than I can chew this time. I currently have to update on THREE new stories or else my readers won't be happy and might lose interest in my stories... I mean, come on! I'm a twelve-year-old girl! I'm not supposed to be dealing with this until I graduate college!

Ugh. No wonder I'm getting pimples [Curse you, damn puberty.]

But, no worries, though. I have a schedule:

On Monday (while my parents are at work): Update on JGWI [I'm using abbreviations because I suck at names, so I don't want anyone to know what the titles are.]

On Tuesday (parents still at work): Update on B.

On Thursday (you guessed right; parents still at work): Update on A.

Yes, it's uninteresting for most people, but... Yeah, it's uninteresting for most people. In fact, if it asn't about my stories, I'd probably be asleep right now and not read this blog at all... Dammit, why did I jusy say that?! But my blog is still interesting, though!!! :)

Just... Just read the damn blog, okay? AND COMMENT! I know you guys are out there! I can HEAR you converting oxygen to carbon dioxide!

YouTube Videos

I love YouTube...

Sure, the videos are funny, the music is awesome, but my favorite part is the fan-made couple videos. The videos fueled my love for Channy (Chad + Sonny from Sonny With A Chance) and Seddie (Sam + Freddie from iCarly). Right now, I'm watching Sam and Freddie; She's Killing Me by ColoursOfTheDawn.


So, if you're a Seddie shipper, watch the video and you'll probably smile and/or squeal. Unless you're a dude.

Maybe I could learn something from Beyoncé

After listening to  Beyoncé's Best Thing I Never Had, I think it's time for me to find someone better if my current crush doesn't hurry up soon because... It's just that if I'm going to give my everything to someone, I'm not settling for anything less than being loved back...

Wow. A big decision for a twelve-year-old, huh?

But hey, "love's blind", I guess. It doesn't really matter what age you are, just as long as you don't do something stupid like pre-marital sex or early marriage...

Games

I only now realize that playing Dress-up Games at Y8.com isn't the most mature thing to do. I guess I should stop talking about it to my teachers...

Or, you know, just stop talking to my teachers in general.

Speaking of school, I sort of miss it. Well, okay, I miss my crush, but... I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss me.

[Please, God. Please don't let my Daddy read this. I don't want him to shoot, run over, or castrate my crush.]

But Y8 has a lot of games. I usually play Funny games or Stunts games, but this time, I found myself playing Love games... Compatibility games, to be exact...

Oh, gosh, Kyle, you better not be reading this. [Yes, cheesehead, I like you. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out yet...]

Here's a picture that made me jump up and down even though I'm not supposed to because of.... never mind. Here it is:

Frozen Coffee

I don't know why, but frozen mocha just makes me sleepy. But, even though I almost pass out every time I drink some, I still find myself by the coffee maker every night so I could put what I made in the freezer for the next morning. I don't think that's normal for someone my age... I am just a few days away from turning thirteen... Yes, yes. I'm twelve years old. I just grew up fast, I guess. You know, I wonder if anyone other than myself actually READS my posts... Sure, I started just last night, but still. So, if you are reading this, I would very much appreciate it if you would just leave a little comment. :) Just a few tiny taps on your keyboard can make me very happy. :]

Can't Sleep

Every single night, I find out that it's a very bad idea to drink coffee at 9:00 PM.

I'll never learn.

So now, it's 12:32 AM. Maybe I should do something productive or something. Make something that will help others, do something that will inspire, show someone that I love them....

Like, uh...

Um...

Yeah, I have no idea. What do you do, at 12:32 AM, to help someone? Or to let someone know that you love them?

Well... I could message my crush to tell him that I like him...

Eh. I'll just watch TV. Ooh! Khloé and Lamar is on!!

Starting Today

October 21, 2011

After numerous failed diaries, I decided to keep a blog. It's been almost a dream of mine to make one these past few years... Sure, it's open to the world, but hey. They don't give a fuck, so I have nothing to worry about!

[To any family members reading this: I don't cuss very often, okay? I'm still nice and stuff! Believe me, the thought of you guys reading my posts or tweets or stories has been haunting. So, back off, okay? I still love you guys, though! Okay, most of you...]

This day has been very long and boring, to say the least. I had no school today [Ugh. I haven't seen my crush in DAYS, man! DAYS!!] so I had nothing to do but eat, sleep, maybe use the computer, and eat again. Oh, and write.

Did I mention that I was a writer?

Yeah, I write stories and poems. Sometimes essays but those are mostly for school. You have NO IDEA how much I fill up the Essay part of the quizzes. Ask any of my teachers! They are what kept me from failing most of my tests. True story.

Well, today I spent hours writing and editing the first chapter of my new Fanfiction [Yes, I write fanfictions! GET OVER IT!!] story, Awkward. It's Humor/Romance, rated T for kissing and mild language, and it stars Sonny Munroe and Chad Dylan Cooper of Sonny With A Chance.

Once again, get over it.

Someday, I'm going to be a novelist. And I'm going to be rich. Well, hopefully.

Or maybe I'll be a businesswoman... But that would be hard, though. The stock prices, the math [ugh], and all the paperwork... I'd rather be writing and doing whatever the fudge I want. But still be rich.

I just hope that God has something wonderful planned for me... :)

- Gabby